ALL IN THE PRESENCE OF THE DALAI LAMAI

Moments and Memories from Connecting for Change 2006

Charles Holmes   

Seated in concentric circles and cloaked with white Tibetan scarves
of welcome, sixty innovators from the corporate and social sectors
joined in dialogue with His Holiness the Dalai Lama. It was September
2006, and they met in Vancouver, Canada for two days. They
intended to explore the issues of the world and how building connections
between the two sectors could better serve the needs of
humanity.
     Early in the sessions, the Dalai Lama shared his surprise in hearing
their purpose for convening. “There is a Tibetan saying,” he said,
“which is trying to fit a sheep’s head on a yak’s body.” The group
joined the Dalai Lama in a burst of laughter—the mismatched image
a humbling reminder of the complicated relationship between the
two sectors. Through this expression he was asking them to face
the true challenges of connecting for change, to acknowledge that
nothing will come from false gestures of good intention.

“There is a Tibetan saying, which is trying to
fit a sheep’s head on a yak’s body.”

     And so it continued, provocative discourse punctuated by the
hallmark belly laughs and unforgettable wisdoms of a leader who
holds the attention of the world.
     The event—aptly named Connecting for Change—was hosted by
the Dalai Lama Centre for Peace and Education (DLC) as one of the
2006 Vancouver Dialogues. The opportunity to meet the Dalai Lama
and to establish a connection with the DLC attracted participants
from around the globe. Less than one year later, the event proved
to be a catalyst for enduring behaviour change, ground-breaking
initiatives and endless calls for more—sparking organizers’ determination
to identify the fundamental ingredients of its success.

Exchanging Perspectives
     The event had its genesis one year prior in a comment made by
corporate sustainability consultant Charles Holmes. Upon hearing
of the Dalai Lama’s visit to Vancouver, Charles made a casual suggestion
to DLC trustees to arrange a dialogue between the Dalai
Lama and select corporate CEOs. Much to his surprise, Charles
spent the better part of the next year developing his initial idea of
a meeting with CEOs into its final incarnation as Connecting for
Change. For him and the many who supported him, turning idea
into event became a driving passion, an emotional rollercoaster and
an unrivaled source of learning.
     “I wish I’d kept a journal at the time,” said Charles, “to recall what I
went through in terms of the shift, and when the penny sort of fell
around the notion of ‘Connecting for Change.’ The idea of bringing
together corporate and social, and not just corporate, was some- 3
thing that was informed by talking with lots of different people
who offered their opinions. It was a really good example of the
value and importance of sitting with ideas and not immediately acting on them—getting people’s input, reflecting on it, synthesizing it.”
     A commitment to exchanging perspectives defined Charles’
process and, in the end, defined the event itself. When participants
were asked for their strongest memories, this concept of exchanging
perspectives dominated in their minds. Participants seemed
to consistently recall it in the form of a story—a story presented
to the Dalai Lama by fellow participant Puanani Burgess.
     Puanani, a cultural translator and conflict transformation facilitator,
stood to the left of the Dalai Lama who watched her curiously from his
armchair. After a formal greeting from her Hawaiian heritage, she began:
“I come from a little community called Wai`anae on the Island of O`ahu in Hawai`i,” she said. This story, the ‘Poha and Popo Story,’ took place where I live, deep in the valley called Lua-lua-lei.” The Dalai Lama looked on
intently, while receiving the odd whisper in his opposite ear by
his trusted translator, Geshe Thupten Jinpa.  Puanani continued, “When
my little boy was two years old, his Chinese grandmother, his Popo, would
push him in his stroller around our block, which was about two miles round.
And in this block there were pastures where there were horses and
cows. And Popo would stop to show Poha the horses and cows, because
she knew that little children really loved big animals.
     “Four times she did this and each time Poha just sat there and waited.
So the fourth time she thought—she was seventy-six years old then—‘I’m
not going to do this one more time if that’s all he’s going to do— just sit
there with no expression.’ So this is what Popo did.”
     Puanani crouched down to the floor and continued, “She got down
on her hands and knees and she went to look at what Poha was
looking at. And from where he was sitting, all Poha could see was tall grass. Poha never saw one horse, not one cow.” Bits of laughter emerged
from the group.
     “So—when she understood what Poha was seeing, she picked Poha
up, so that he could see what she was seeing. And in the moment of
exchange of vision, change happened.” The meaning pierced the energy of
the room, stirring laughter, nods, claps and chatter. After a brief and final translation, the Dalai Lama lit up with a heartfelt smile and knowing
chuckle of having been equally engaged and touched.

Experiencing Unconditional Partnerships
During the year leading up to the event, Charles steadily shaped
the concept of a corporate-social meeting of the minds. He quickly
realized that overcoming the thriving stereotypes of each sector
would require a uniquely intimate experience. So, for the purpose of
the event, he played matchmaker. He ensured each participant had a
partner from the other sector with whom he or she could delve into
a deeper level of idea sharing.
     Matchmaking immediately put some corporate participants on edge,
feeling that a noble initiative had turned into a charity ploy. But the
partnerships would be unconditional, no strings attached—this was
an opportunity few had experienced.
     The partnering hooked Anita Roper from the start. An Australian
now working in the US, Anita develops social-corporate partnerships
for Alcoa. “I would never have been able to justify flying across
to Vancouver just to meet the Dalai Lama. As much as I wanted to,
there just wasn’t a business cause for me there. But he [Charles] told
me about this concept he had for pairing people up, someone as an
NGO to a business person—no expectations, no vested interest, but
just to come together and see if there’s any connection.”
     This no-strings-attached approach coloured the entire event—influencing
all the relationships and friendships formed during sessions,
meals and the time in between. For Anita, experiencing social-sector
connections without vested interests inspired a new dimension to
Alcoa’s work.
     Anita is used to forging relationships with social sector organizations
that express concern regarding Alcoa’s activities. “We want to work
with them. We want to understand their issues better,” explained Anita. However, at Connecting for Change she began to consider the incredible opportunity for Alcoa staff to support something completely unrelated to
their work. Not surprisingly, the first of such collaborations would be with another participant from Connecting for Change. “Here’s an opportunity where
we as a company are really offering something back without wanting
something in return.”

Witnessing the Power of One
     Puanani’s story and the partnering experiences are only two examples
of how participants—although drawn together by the convening
power of the Dalai Lama—left inspired as much by the Dalai Lama as
by each other. “There were numerous comments from people about
moments when they were just amazed by the experience of other
participants in bringing about change, and impressed by participants’
unshakable confidence to take action,” explained Charles.
     Participant Mike Houck, an American conservationist and the Executive
Director of the Urban Greenspaces Institute, remembers one such moment on the second day of the event. He was sitting with other Connecting for Change participants among the 20,000 who had gathered for the Dalai Lama’s public audience. The Dalai Lama was over 45 minutes late, leaving a (thankfully)
creative master of ceremonies to entertain the crowd. That is, until his
creativity ran out. “It was extremely awkward,” explained Mike, “because the MC had just said, ‘I don’t know what to do now. I am out of ideas.’ So
we were all standing there, or sitting, perplexed about what to do next.”
But according to Mike the awkwardness did not last long. “One of our group, Mary, was directly in front of me, one row down. She stood up and started singing ‘O Canada.’ And the woman to her right started singing with her. And the woman to her left then started singing. And I’m not exaggerating by
saying that within 30 seconds all 20,000 people—except for people like
me who didn’t know the words—were singing ‘O Canada.’ It totally
blew me away, and of course the whole lesson from that experience
was the power of one. It’s amazing what one person can do should
they take it upon themselves to take action.”
     For Mike, these moments gave meaning to the Dalai Lama’s message,
replacing initial skepticism with understanding. “I tend to be a pretty
literal and linear thinker. My personality is more scientific, more
linear and less intuitive,” explained Mike. “So I was intrigued to
see what the whole ambiance of the Connecting for Change event
would be and whether it would stretch me in some ways outside of
my normal comfort zone. I guess I was both looking forward to that
and had a little trepidation about it.”

Looking Inside Oneself
     Participants quickly found themselves facing an unexpected truth:
the power of connecting lies not only in connecting with others but
also in connecting with oneself. Stephanie Hanford, a Fellow at the
Institute for Governance and Sustainable Development (University
of California, Santa Barbara), remembers how self-reflection was the
catalyst of many discussions: “The presence of the Dalai Lama, and
all that he represents, brought the participants to a special emotional
space where they were drawn to reflection—reflection on their
purpose in life and what they were doing with their time. There
were a lot of successful people in the room, and their achievements
were many. However, the retreat was able to draw these people out of
the day-to-day and allow them to ask some very profound questions
about how success should be defined, and perhaps even more importantly,
what they ultimately wanted to achieve with their lives.”
     The Dalai Lama undoubtedly provoked this intensified atmosphere
of self-reflection. Although he was often the focus of everyone’s attention,
his words repeatedly put the spotlight back on individual responsibility—
much to the satisfaction of participants like Stephanie. “I see him as
having the convening power and helping to dictate the mood. But ultimately,
the success of the Center or of the dialogue itself depends on
the individual participants and what they are desiring and willing to pursue.”
     The outcomes of this event would indeed depend on participants’ will. The
Dalai Lama could only serve up wisdoms and reasons that may nudge participants along as leaders of change. With forthright simplicity, as usual,
he offered this: “I feel the individual, oneself, is of course, very
important. So, taking care of oneself or looking out for oneself is very
justified. But if you look deeper, then one individual no matter how
able or strong a person, without society, he or she cannot manage,
cannot survive. That’s clear. That’s a reality…In modern times, …individual
futures very much depend on unknown other people, other
continents. That’s reality. So therefore, just for one’s own interests you
have to take [into consideration] others’ welfare, others’ well-being…
Change or events in the outside world eventually affect us.”

Being in the Presence of a Role Model
     Sheri Flies, Assistant General Merchandising Manager for Costco, is
a woman committed to personal growth, savouring every moment
of self-discovery. A unique encounter with the Dalai Lama affected
Sheri emotionally and spiritually. Her voice fills with emotion in the
retelling of it: “The Dalai Lama is walking out and as he walks he has
his hands together and is sort of bowing to everyone. He stops, he
turns and he bows to me, just to me. And then—he takes my hand.
All I could say with tears in my eyes was ‘thank you.’ …It was one of
those highlights of my life.”
     Though not everyone felt the Dalai Lama’s touch, his palpable energy
opened unexpected and unknown spaces of experience.
For some participants his aura overwhelmed and inspired. As Anita
explained, “When the Dalai Lama walked in, I had the impression
that if he told everyone to jump out the window, probably half of
them would without even thinking about it…It was that power,
that aura, …that made me realize something was happening here in
terms of the presence this person had.”
     For other participants his values and ethics focused the group’s intentions.
As Mike explained, “People tended to react to one another
with a lot more thought then they would otherwise.”
And for yet others, the Dalai Lama’s simplicity and humility gave
participants permission to be themselves. “People were telling me
how this was the first conference they’d ever attended where they
could take off their armor and be themselves,” explained Charles.
“Authentic conversations and dialogue occurred by virtue of a bunch
of things, obviously including the presence of the Dalai Lama, who
motivates or instills in people a desire to rise to something higher
than their egos.”

Understanding the Work Ahead
     But the Dalai Lama’s presence was not enough to obscure the challenges
of the day. Ultimately, participants found their motivation in
the unfortunate reality that we have far to go. Participants would
need to build the road along which others could travel.
“I’d thought we’d passed the point where there was still that very
strong distrust between the two sides,” explained Anita. “That was a
huge surprise, wake up call, call it what you like, for me who’d really
thought we’d moved past that in the debate. But we haven’t, it was
clear.”
     “Authentic conversations and dialogue occurred by virtue of a bunch of things, obviously including the presence of the Dalai Lama, who motivates
or instills in people a desire to rise to something higher than their egos.”
Charles continues to receive emails and phone calls about new initiatives
that have stemmed from the event. But he knows the event
was but a teaser to society for the real change that is needed. While
capturing the stories of success, he is fine-tuning the template for
replication—with plans to hold more Connecting for Change events
in the near future.
     Though change feels complicated, the issue is simple, and was perfectly
articulated by the Dalai Lama during his first dialogue with
the group:      “I believe every human profession or human activity is actually
meant for human beings, meant for humanity. Human actions are
for human beings—particularly in today’s world. I think in the past,
maybe, different sectors carried on work more or less independently.
Now today…everything is interdependent, interrelated. That’s the
reality. Under these circumstances, it falls on us to work together.” ▌